I have to be honest when I talk about the adjustment our little, oops, big family has gone through since Miss G arrived. Grace moved in and was fine, it seems that everyone else has had to adjust. Five of us have adjusted just fine at 8 weeks in, one still has a ways to go. I know you're all shaking your heads and wondering which wonderful member of this family could be struggling to adjust to the presence of one very cute little girl.
If you guessed three year old J, you hit the nail on the head. I naively assumed that J would have a bit of a hard time, just like everyone did when a new baby came along. the thing is, Grace is not a baby. She plays with J's toys and takes a part his train tracks, and basically drives him nuts. He has never had anyone interested in touching his things and he does not appreciate it now.
We were driving one day an J said he didn't like Grace. He couldn't see me face so I smiled and told him he didn't have to like her, he just had to love her and be nice to her. That didn't go over well, so he pulled out the worst word he knew, he said he hated her. I wish I had had my camera to capture the look on his tiny little face. He was mad about this new intruder and he wanted us to know it. At that point I was laughing in the front seat, my poor injured little baby.
He tells us all the time how cute she is and you do find them playing together sometimes. J has also discovered the fine art of bossing the younger sibling, which has helped his feelings of being displaced. He has a new job he can do, keep Grace in line, which he attempts with gusto.
So yes, the adjustment has gone surprisingly well, but I have to admit, I was unprepared for how upset J would be. I also know that soon J and Grace will be best buds, you can see it when they race strollers through the house, he really does like her a little, he's just not quite ready to admit it.
5 comments:
Solomon was 3 when Lyra came home and I think the novelty of having a new sister lasted about a day. LOL!!! He was the first one of us to treat her like she was really one of the family without coddling, cooing or ooing over her. He just took over and started bossing her around or telling on her right off the bat. He started talking like a baby too. sigh. But we have ridden out the waves and they are best buddies now. He is very proud of her and quite protective. I spent a lot of time laughing at their relationshiip too. Still do. Kids are the BEST! All the laughter keeps you young. I'm glad you saw the humor and didn't freak out about J's reaction. Your family is beautiful!
BTW, I'm glad to see someone else with super skinny boys. Mine look like string beans. I guess it will serve them well when the middle age spread sets in but I can't imagine what they will look like when they go through the bony 14 year old stage where they stretch but don't gain weight. We might have to start feeding them sticks of butter:):):).
When our daughter first came home, we heard some "I hate, send her back" exclamations too. I was just glad she couldn't speak English yet! I have to admit, it was hard seeing the other kids struggle with the adjustment, but it didn't take long. Now they treat each other like real siblings, which sometimes has a little love/hate element to it too!
Our kids have had their struggles, too. It is hard for them to share their Mom (even more than what they already are doing). Any changes that have occurred, G. is seen as the cause of it. Try to spend extra time with J....like when G. is down for a nap. Make an effort for a special "playtime" just for J., and tell him you are so proud of him learning to be a big brother so fast!! He is so smart to learn something so fast!! Time does improve things, but my kids still get irritated at times with Kylen (he, after all, is closer to their age). Sasha is loved and adored by them, they are 11 and 12 years older than he is, so he is easy to tolerate. The one that causes them "competition" is the hard one for them right now. Time is a great healer, and try to make J. feel like he still has his Own "private Mommy-time". I know you are doing this.....just sort-of "go off the deep end" with him for a little bit. Your fam is beautiful, and we are so happy for you!!
great family photo. That is funny that you started laughing. There have been times where my kids were all serious and upset, and you just cant help it because it seems hysterical at the time.
Post a Comment